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Including real life stories, this newly revised third edition of the award-winning bestseller—voted one of the top twenty parenting books—provides parents with the most up-to-date research, effective discipline tips, and practical strategies for raising spirited children.
Do you ever wonder why your child acts the way he or she does? Are you at a loss regarding your child’s emotional intelligence and how to prevent meltdowns? Do you find yourself getting frustrated and feeling like you’re at the end of your rope?
You are not alone! Many parents are dealing with the same challenges.
In Raising Your Spirited Child, Third Edition, parenting expert Mary Sheedy Kurcinka, Ed.D, offers ALL parents a glimpse into what makes their children behave the way they do. Through vivid examples and a refreshingly positive viewpoint, this invaluable guide offers parents emotional support and proven strategies for handling the toughest times. Dr. Kurcinka has devised a plan for success with a simple, four-step program that will help you discover the power of positive—rather than negative—labels, understand your child's and your own temperamental traits, cope with tantrums and blowups when they do occur, develop strategies for handling mealtimes, bedtimes, holidays, school, and many other situations.
In this third revised edition, you will find:
- More practical strategies to help you manage your own intensity (keep your cool)
- Effective discipline tips—including how to win cooperation and establish clear expectations and limits
- New strategies for managing the meltdowns—including how to prevent them in the future
- Revised tips for helping your spirited child fall asleep and stay asleep
- Revised tips for finding the school that “fits” your child
- Ideas for working with your child when he or she does not want to talk about emotions
- Steps to teaching your child how to be “problem solvers,” work well with others, and be more flexible
- … and more!
Including charts and quick tips for today’s time-challenged parents, this newly updated edition of Raising Your Spirited Child will help you foster a supportive, encouraging, and loving environment for your children.
- Sales Rank: #2033 in Books
- Published on: 2015-09-08
- Released on: 2015-09-08
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.00" h x .85" w x 5.31" l, .0 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 528 pages
Review
"The book will prove to be a real lifesaver." --Louise Bates Ames, author and association director, Gessell Institute of Human "Through excellent examples and easy-to-read text, this book provides parents with a pathway to understanding their child's temperament and to a place where parents can balance the needs of their child's unique temperament with their own needs and those of their family." -- James Cameron, Ph.D., executive director, The Preventive Ounce, Berkeley, California
From the Back Cover
The spirited child—often called "difficult" or "strong willed"—possesses traits we value in adults yet find challenging in children. Research shows that spirited children are wired to be "more"; by temperament, they are more intense, sensitive, perceptive, persistent, and more uncomfortable with change than the average child. In this newly revised third edition of the award-winning classic, Dr. Mary Sheedy Kurcinka provides vivid examples of real-life challenges and a refreshingly positive viewpoint. Within these pages you will find:
- New strategies for managing intensity levels—not just the spirited child's, but yours too
- A simple, four-step program for peaceful bedtimes, mealtimes, holidays, and many other commonly challenging situations
- A focus on your child's strengths
- Steps for teaching your child how to be a problem solver and how to work with others
- Updated guidance on establishing clear limits
- And more!
Charts and quick tips make this newly updated edition an indispensable guide for fostering a supportive, encouraging, and loving environment for children.
About the Author
Mary Sheedy Kurcinka, Ed.D., is the director of ParentChildHelp. She is an award-winning lecturer and parent educator. Dr. Kurcinka provides private consultations and workshops nationally and internationally for parents and for professionals serving families and children. She is also the bestselling author of Raising Your Spirited Child Workbook, Sleepless in America, and Kids, Parents, and Power Struggles.
Most helpful customer reviews
524 of 534 people found the following review helpful.
Finally, some GOOD advice!
By A Customer
How many times had I heard, "yup, he's all boy" or "he sure is active", or "he just needs a good spanking"...but I always felt that no one truly understood what I was going through with my "spirited" child. I read "The Strong Willed Child" by Dobson, I read "The Dicipline Book" by Dr. Sears, still nothing seemed to explain the problems I was having with my child. I had just about decided that I must have done something wrong to make him behave the way he does, when I found this book. What a relief! It isn't anything I have done to make my son the way he is. But the book gave me such practical and effective advice on how to work with his personality instead of against it.
Any parent of a spirited child will tell you that traditional discipline techniques don't work. Time outs? Are you kidding? I'dd have to tie my kid into a chair or lock him in his room! Now I realize what sets him off and I can often avoid the "naughty" behavior. No more quick trips to the bank or grocery store after preschool. He is totally tapped out by the time he gets home, and it is time for quiet/alone time in his room so he can recharge and be sociable again.
My parents kept telling me he should be sleeping through the night, when at age 2 he still was waking up during the night. In their eyes, he was just spoiled. "Let him cry" they would say. What they didn't understand, was that a spirited child does not cry themselves to sleep like other children, they cry themselves awake! Sometimes to the point of vomiting because they get so worked up!
I could go on and on, but the bottom line is, this book truly saved my sanity. I feel like a better parent as a result of it and I know my relationship with my son has improved dramatically.
580 of 593 people found the following review helpful.
A Sanity Saver!
By Coco Rogers
I read maybe 15 pages of this book before bursting into tears of relief. At 16 months old, my son has never been easygoing or mellow, but as he entered toddlerhood, I felt like I was failing as a mom because I couldn't control him. I didn't understand why other kids napped for hours, slept through the night at 6 months old, and adjusted quickly to new experiences, while my son still wakes up several times a night, rarely naps for more than an hour a day, and shrieked in rage when he had to start wearing shoes or when he didn't like how his socks felt. Other books recommended a stern, inflexible parenting approach that just resulted in MORE meltdowns, MORE stress, and MORE frustration. Did I mention that "cry it out" was an unmitigated disaster in our house?
Finally, this book validated him, and my husband and me. He's not "bad", we're not failing as parents. He's just more intense, more perceptive, and more sensitive. It takes different strategies for us to be successful and calm than for parents of more relaxed children, but the book really focuses on how to do that, how to help our child be successful with daily life. There are many different levels to any given "spirited child", so this book's scope is not limited to a high-energy kid. Introverts vs. extroverts, energy levels, sensitivity, and so much more are covered in depth. This is not a book about excusing poor behavior, though. The parent is absolutely still the one in charge and still has to work with the child to ensure that they can be spirited and still be productive, safe, and enjoyable members of their family.
If you feel like you're constantly battling it out with your child, that you've lost control, and/or that your child is running you ragged, I highly recommend this book. Oh, you'll probably learn a few things about yourself, as well.
191 of 197 people found the following review helpful.
This is the most positive childrearing book I've ever read.
By A Customer
OK, so I was totally flabbergasted and flummoxed with rearing my first-born. He was a joy and a gift, but with energy beyond other children (and adults!!) and a stubborn streak a mile wide.
Still, I couldn't bring myself to read childrearing books with titles that made my son sound horrible (I wasn't raising a difficult child, I was having difficulty raising my child).
Then, a real gift -- Mary Sheedy Kurcinka's RAISING YOUR SPIRITED CHILD. Ms Kurcinka is a professional and a parent, and she understands that parents need a)help, and b)humor. Her positive attitude about children, and her down to earth discussions of the needs of parents, children and families were a welcome relief.
If you think that your child is more energetic and/or sensitive and/or persistant than other kids, you are right; and if you think others don't understand your frustrations, you are also right. Ms. Kurcinka explains that "spirited" children _are_ different than most others, and need different approaches. She guides the reader to understand what makes these special children tick, and why parents react the way they do to their children.
She also urges a positive, rather than a negative, view of these childrens' differences. From the feelings we have to our kids to the words we use to describe them, we shape who they are and how we treat them. Ms. Kurcinka shows how to enjoy and celebrate the energy and talents of children whose temperaments are outside the norm.
We were fortunate to read this book when our spirited son was two -- and doubly grateful when his spirited sister arrived a year later!! If you are frustrated with the books available about children, or if you want a positive, practical book about extraordinary kids, this is the one.
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