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Nasty People, by Jay Carter
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Fourteen years since its first publication, the bestsellerNasty People has been revised and updated to cover the motivations of nasty people, how to avoid confrontation with a nasty boss, how to handle a nasty spouse, and much more, including:
- How to break the cycle of nastiness
- A new understanding of personality disorders and depression
- Narcissism, nasty behavior, and self-doubt
- Nasty people and self-validation
- The role adrenaline plays in nasty behavior and our responses to it.
Everyone knows a person who has been hurt, betrayed, or degraded by nasty individuals or has experienced it themselves. In three books, Jay Carter, Psy. D., shows readers how to stop this cycle of overt and covert abuse, without resorting to nasty tactics. Now for the first time, this series is released together to cover all areas of dealing with difficult people. With straight-talking advice, real-life anecdotes, and psychology that makes sense, Carter explains how to handle and stop painful behavior that harms both the perpetrator and the victim.
- Sales Rank: #186151 in eBooks
- Published on: 2003-05-26
- Released on: 2003-05-26
- Format: Kindle eBook
From the Back Cover
Surefire methods to neutralize the nasty people in your life
Have you been hurt, betrayed, or degraded by a nasty person? Perhaps it's your boss, your parent, or your spouse. Whoever it is, he or she is an invalidator who feeds on your self-esteem, mental anguish, and unhappiness. But you can stop this cycle of abuse and put an end to sneak attacks on your soul--without resorting to nasty tactics.
In this updated bestselling guide to staying sane while dealing with difficult people, Jay Carter, Psy.D., calls upon decades of practice and observation to offer proven strategies for avoiding toxic relationships. With straight-talking advice, real-life anecdotes, and psychology that makes sense, Dr. Carter gives you the surefire tricks and techniques you need to:
- Identify the invalidators in your life
- Protect your sanity
- Use humor to get out of the blame game
- Conquer self-doubt
- Stop invalidating yourself
- Confront emotional bullies
- See the bigger picture
- Reclaim the captain's seat of your soul
About the Author
Jay Carter, Phsy.D., DAPBS, is a psychologist who has treated couples and women for decades. The bestselling author of Nasty Men and Nasty Women, and a sought-after motivational speaker, Dr. Carter has made numerous appearances both nationally and internationally. He has also been a guest on "Larry King Live" and "The Montel Williams Show."
Most helpful customer reviews
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful.
Great Book for Anyone Who Is Living on Earth
By deelee82
While I was drawn to this title in desperation after having a coworker try to ruin my career and sanity with gossip, this book is actually good for anybody and everybody. The best part of this book was when the author directed certain readers to another book (Codependent No More) prior to going further in his book. That was a great suggestion for me, and I feel like I wouldn't have gotten the full effect of this book without reading that one first. The author explains the complicated nature of invalidation and gives the reader tools to a) keep an invalidator from invalidating you; b) recognize the invalidator in yourself and understand not only why you get like that but what you can do to stop yourself; and c) learn to have some measure of healthy compassion for the invalidators you come across.
I spent 90% of a three day weekend on these two books. I can say that, after trying unsuccessfully to handle stress, anxiety and depression through multiple attempts with medication, food, alcohol, etc - that I have felt more calm, happier, and more "present" than I have, maybe ever. I also have no anxiety about going to work tomorrow. The thoughts and memories of previous insults, bullying, abuse, and even little slights (as well as things I've said and done myself that were invalidating to others) seem to come up in my mind like they always do, but I've been able to see them for what they were and calmly put them to the side. It's too soon to really tell how this will change my life or anything, but I'll know the next time I'm faced with a difficult situation (probably tomorrow, haha).
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
A Seminal Work for Everybody
By PS
Despite its relative brevity, this book is packed with very illuminating information about the insidious and destructive tactics used by all of us when in a less-than-healthy place emotionally. Of course, the author makes allowance for the truly egregious offenders, those who set out to wreck the psyches of other people. Most important, he describes general ways, with a few specific examples, of how to effectly disarm such people and take your sanity back. I appreciated the author's acknowledgement that there isn't a "one size fits all approach" to dealing with nasty people. Nevertheless, he points you in the right direction and arms you with the tools you need to cope. Bravo!
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
An all time favorite
By Happiness is a choice
I'm guessing you've had people in your life that when you walk away or hang up the phone with them, you somehow feel bad or down and sometimes you're really not sure why. That's the primary reason you should buy this book. I've read it 3 times. Each time I've read it, I get new insights. I bought Nasty People the first time in 1993 because of a problem employee. As I read it, I was shocked to realize how many other nasty people there were in my life (family members) without quite realizing it.
While I like the title Nasty People, this is really about people skilled in invalidation. Some invalidators don't seem nasty, but after reading this you'll understand, they are tearing you down with essentially your permission until you say no!
I recently bought it for a friend whose spouse was routinely invalidating her. Having read the book I was able to see it happening, yet she couldn't see it and didn't know how to deal with it until reading this book.
I love the style of writing. It's very straight forward and an easy read (under 2 hours). It's relevance continually amazes me. Keep it nearby and if you have a flight or a long metro/bus ride, grab and read it every year. Just writing this review is motivating me to read it again!
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